An Incompetent Continental!

Tales of Rowland Jack's struggles to adjust to life in Europe. Shrewd observations with a humorous streak!

Gambling on a Cheap Hotel: "Among the five hotels on the list you can guarantee that one will be a haven for cockroaches and illicit activity of all kinds; another will be in the midst of an ambitious renovation programme and next door to the loudest nightclub in town. The challenge is to spot the odd one out: the respectable, family-run place with working showers, comfortable beds and passable breakfasts." Rowland Jack braves the terrors of the budget hotel...
Learning to Ski: "For most learners the temptation to try too much too soon is overwhelming. One voice in your head screams 'Aaaaggghhhh!' in terror while another says 'Go on, have a go.'" Rowland Jack straps on his skis and bends his knees...
Jetiquette - Budget Flying the Right Way: "After several years of evolution the "budget" flight phenomenon now has its own complex set of unwritten rules, otherwise known as "jetiquette"... Let us examine how to master the "budget" flight, step by effortless step. In order to measure our success I suggest a simple point scale. You earn points for good style and lose points for embarrassing faux pas." Rowland explains the rules of budget flight - and throws down a challenge!
The Expat Pub: "It is a remarkable British and Irish export success story. You know it from its name, from the Guinness signs and from the noisy crowd within. But most of all you know it from the magic words "English Football" displayed outside." An appreciation of the great commercial and cultural phenomenon that is the expat pub.
My Celebrity Car: "I have a celebrity car. Wherever I drive in these parts I attract curious looks and pointing fingers. I have to admit that I quite enjoy the attention. So what do I drive? A Ferrari perhaps? Or maybe one of those amusingly customised Volkswagen Beetles?" Rowland rhapsodises on the delights of owning a distinctive vehicle...
The Great Myths of Language Learning: "The British are bad at learning foreign languages. It's a fact. In any European city you can find intelligent and decent British tourists (among the dim and indecent) asking for the menu in English. At best they may mumble a few words learned from the phrasebook, only to receive a response in English from the harassed waiter." Rowland looks at the reasons why!