Trevor Dykes

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T D Dykes: putting the in before sanity.

Dr Trevor Dykes, aged 42.09, is a starving humorist slaving away to almost universal indifference in the comedy mines of Franconia. Born in Bournemouth, he emigrated to Germany in 1992 to loud cries of Bon Voyage, relief and good riddance. He earned his Doctorate in Humour from the University Collage of Dipwytch, Dorset by paying fifty pounds. His special areas of study include: sleeping, West African e-mail fraud, mammals and near-mammals of the Mesozoic and the virtual village of Dipwytch. More on those themes can be learned later, so you have been warned.

This is Dipwytch!
News and views frum virtual Dorset (via Franconia)…

Gathering nuts in May

By Trevor Dykes | Published: 21 April 2006

"Germany is a land rich in tradition. However, every land, excepting perhaps Antarctica, is rich in tradition. And even there, I expect researchers have passed their time concocting traditions for all seasons. They probably perform their own spring rites like the rest of us, only in November and wearing thicker clothes." Trevor's thoughts turn to Germany's traditional Springtide celebrations, which also include football, beer and - oh no - German folk music...
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An enquiry from West Africa

By Trevor Dykes | Published: 6 January 2006

"'Before the death of my father on february2005 in a private hospital here in Nouadhibou he secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has 15 TONS DRIED WHALE PENISES...' Our resident paleontologist, Dr Trev, doesn't normally interest himself in the penises of whales. They're a bit too fresh. However, he has agreed to attempt an approximation of how many individuals may have been castrated." Trevor Dykes examines one of the weirdest 419 scams yet...
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News from the front

By Trevor Dykes | Published: 27 August 2005

"I can't tell you precisely where I am. This isn't a matter of secrecy. It's a consequence of my overall unfamiliarity with the local geography and the fact that most of the road signs are in Turkish. I don't know if they're hoping to direct me to the next town or a golf course." Trevor Dykes invades the Turkish Riviera...
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Rings, flags and bells

By Trevor Dykes | Published: 22 April 2005

"I'm going to add an extra touch this year, assuming I can find one of those amusing e-greetings cards. If I put enough effort into it, I'm confident I'll come up with a heartfelt template at Yahoo.com. Imagine my wife's delight at discovering an 'I Love You' e-mail on the computer!" Trevor muses on his forthcoming wedding anniversary, the death of the Pope, and 1.FC Nürnberg's impending relegation...
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Merryweather’s Original Words of Wisdom

By Trevor Dykes | Published: 15 March 2005

"I've no idea where that case fell down from or how it arrived in the cellar. I came across half of a booklet published in 1812: 'Merryweather's Concise Compendium of Wisdom, Idioms and Expressions Collected during Mr Merryweather's Journies Around and Through the.' I'm not sure where Merryweather had been, seeing as the cover was less than well-preserved." Trevor goes rooting through his cellar and unearths some pearls of questionable wisdom...
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