"While still regaining his breath, Mr Jesús María d'Avila opened hostilities: 'Plis, ...Ah must to eensist...joo coll me just Jesus.' 'Just Jesus?' 'No... Ah em... only Jesus, noothink more. Not Mary, plis.' He was at least humility – if not divinity – personified..." Dr Graeme Porte extends his student list!
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Category: Expat Europe
"We don't set out deliberately to live in two places at once. It's just that when it looks like happening, we don't make a serious effort to stop it. We can't bring ourselves to abandon one place in favour of the other. An East African childhood gives you big horizons." Mike Kingdom-Hockings writes about his life in Botswana while his wife is based in France.
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"'Joo mus hilp me,' Manolo threatened. 'Ah haf ingleesh ixam for entering Deeplomatic sirvis in Joon. Ah mus pars.' His accent was as engaging as the content bewildering." Dr Graeme Porte takes on his first English language student - and opens the door to a world of confusion...
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"It was one of these holidays that didn't exactly run to plan. When we rented a house boat on the Canal du Midi for a week, we imagined sunning ourselves on deck and pottering about on the canal. In the evenings we would stroll to canal-side hostelries to quaff fine wines and scoff gourmet food at rock bottom prices. Yeah, and pigs might fly too." A week's boating holiday on the Canal du Midi doesn't all turn out as imagined!
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Lesson Three: Chicken chests and cheeps
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