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Category: Letter from Britain

All housework and no play

"I've convinced myself that the urge and ability to clean well is a personality thing. In a feeble attempt to soothe my creeping sense of inadequacy, I rationalise that I may not be the world's best cleaner, but I have other talents and other priorities. Deep down though, I'd like to be one of those people who can keep a tidy house, look glamorous, write a PhD, hold down a decent job and raise numerous perfect and well-behaved children." Miranda Irving wonders why she can never keep the house tidy.

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In search of the Perfect School Lunch

"The very mention of school dinners to anyone who has experienced them is likely to conjure up images of characterful dinner ladies and uniquely unpleasant meal options. Who can forget spotted dick, 'frog spawn' (tapioca), soggy cabbage, lumpy custard, 'gristle' pie (dog food?) and the much-maligned instant mashed potato, randomly garnished with hair-of-chef or fingernail-of-dinner lady?" All that may be a thing of the past, as Miranda Irving finds out...

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Bush, balls and blast

"Those of us with any sense have been stoutly ignoring the state visit by Emperor Bush to London this week (whilst those of us without sense seem to have spent the week attempting to scale the gates of Buckingham Palace, where the nice guards with silly hats have shown admirable patience...)" Dave Stock writes for British Expat magazine about the Bush State Visit to the UK and the Rugby World Cup final.

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When did they take the “Great” out of Britain?

"It has been some 30 years since I flew off to warmer climes clutching my passport and the intention to return home one day. But now that I've had my fill of wadi-bashing, dune driving, and tax-free living, I find that home has turned into a cross between a yob's paradise, a banana republic and a police state. What the heck has happened to Britain during my absence?" Linda Heard ain't planning on returning to the UK any time soon...

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Why you should be glad you don’t live in Britain

"OK, so you can't buy Baked Beans the way you like them and Marmite's a no-no. OK, so export Guinness is a treacly mess. OK, so you get The Times three days late. I know living abroad isn't all hay and sunshine, but it has one major advantage - you are all about as far away from British Bus Stops as I would wish to be." Dave Stock indulges in a rant at one of his pet peeves...

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