On our Summer 2010 visit to Malta we decided to take the opportunity to make the relatively short hop up to Caithness to visit Mike Clark, the author of the wonderful Clark in the Park and Clark’s Caledonia columns on this site. (Relatively is right – it’s a four-hour flight from Malta to Scotland…)

It wasn’t as easy to do this as we’d imagined it would be. Clarkie warned us against flying to London and then taking an internal flight up North, especially to Wick. So Ryanair’s flights Malta-Edinburgh-Malta appeared to offer the most realistic option pricewise – even though that would mean a long drive up the M90 and A9 in a hire car to get to the Far North, and the Edinburgh-Malta leg took off at a cruelly early hour in the morning. The cost – a mere €445.54.

Outward journey

As ill luck had it, I’d knackered my knee shortly after arriving on Gozo so was unable to walk. On the advice of Ryanair veterans, I got Dave to phone ahead to let them know that I would need special assistance to get me onto the aircraft and into my seat – apparently there are safety limits as to how many disabled passengers they can carry. They have a dedicated number for dealing with special assistance requests – the member of staff Dave spoke to dealt with the request sympathetically and sorted it all out quickly.

Ryanair arranged for Malta Airport to provide a wheelchair and lift access to the aircraft. The good part of this was that Dave and I got priority boarding without having to pay for it. On the other hand, we didn’t get any choice in where we sat – they put me in a window seat in the second from last row at the back, and Dave sat in the aisle seat, leaving the middle seat unoccupied. And of course we then had to wait for all the other seats to be filled in the usual way.

Unfortunately they had no means of getting me from the lift to the seat on the aircraft so one of the stewards helped Dave to physically carry me in.  This was a most unpleasant experience, not least because it resulted in bruised and battered ribs which added to my mobility problems.

Overall the Ryanair flight was OK and the snacks were edible if somewhat expensive. It was not bad for a no-frills flight – much better than AirAsia anyway, and by no means the spartan ordeal we’d feared it might be.

On landing at Edinburgh, the disembarking process was similar, except that this time a narrow wheel chair was provided to get me off the aircraft and into a normal-sized wheelchair.  The wheelchair was a terrible design.  Unlike the ones at Malta, which have large hand-wheels so you can at least manoeuvre yourself a bit, the Edinburgh wheelchairs’ four small wheels made it essential for someone else to push the chair. Therefore, you were stranded wherever you happened to be parked with no option to move anywhere under your own steam. So I was left sitting outside the airport entrance to wait while Dave went and collected the hire car from Hertz.

Return journey

Because of the early departure time (0610), we had booked a room overnight at the Novotel at Edinburgh Park – the closest hotel to the airport. (You can read about our experience at the Novotel here.) It was a straightforward matter to get from the Novotel to the airport – all the more so as we were doing it at four o’clock in the morning and there was next to no traffic on the roads.

The procedure for getting on and off the plane was very similar to the outward journey but in reverse – again, I was in a window seat in the second from last row and Dave took the aisle seat.  This time a narrow wheelchair was provided at both Edinburgh and Malta.

Some jobsworth at Edinburgh Airport security confiscated my frozen gel packs which I needed to relieve the pain in my leg – even though Dave pointed out that they were medical, the woman was adamant. The guy who was escorting us suggested that it would have been enough for us to produce a medical certificate to confirm the need. Well, if a medical certificate was all that was needed, why didn’t either he or Jobsworth ask whether I had one? There must be dozens of people every week going through the airport with medical supplies of one sort or another. Surely it should be standard procedure by now?

However, one of the Ryanair staff was very good and improvised with a sick-bag full of ice-cubes, which did the trick.

Author: Kay McMahon

Kay has been an expat for over 20 years. She set up the British Expat website more than 10 years ago, whilst living in London and missing the expat life. These days she spends much of her time lugging computers and cameras around the world. (Dave gets to deal with all the really heavy stuff.)

Turkish Airlines leave you with mixed feelings wherever you look: most advanced Middle Eastern airline, but a service quality which looks more like Eastern improvisation than Western professionalism; an economy class designed for Anatolian cattle, yet a business class to make you feel like a Pasha.

The verdict depends much on whether you view them as a Middle Eastern airline or as a European carrier, i.e. which standards they have to live up to. I have flown with them almost twenty times and have had a close look at their network, fleet, product and service – and the “special atmosphere” only to be found on board Turkish Airlines.

Network

Turkish Airlines (or THY, short for their Turkish name Türk Hava Yollari), stand out for their extensive connections to the Middle East and Central Asia. They are the only airline from outside the former Soviet Union to serve all of the CIS republics in the Caucasus and Central Asia, almost on a daily basis. Turkish Airlines also have extensive connections throughout the Balkans, but other European carriers have almost closed the gap here.

Most international flights depart from THY’s hub in Istanbul. To a lesser extent, international flights are operated from the capital Ankara, and a few from Izmir. Because of Turkey’s vast size and underdeveloped road and rail network, most long-distance travel in Turkey is by air. Thus THY serve around thirty cities in Turkey from Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir.

Their long-haul intercontinental network can be ignored, it only includes four destinations in North America, three in the Far East, plus South Africa, and the service provided on THY’s long-haul flights wouldn’t satisfy any European traveller.

Fleet

Turkish Airlines have built their fleet mostly around Boeing’s 737. The backbone of the fleet is around twenty 737-400s, but THY are currently adding around twenty Next Generation 737-800s with a new class concept. There are also some AVRO Regional Jets and a handful of wide-body Airbus 310s, plus a few Airbus 340s for long-haul routes.

The planes all appear to be properly maintained, and Turkish Airlines provide their technical and maintenance service to many other airlines in the Middle East and Central Asia. The interiors of the aircraft are not old, but old-fashioned: faint green and blue textiles, which look like they have been bought from a corner stand on a South East Anatolian bazaar.

Economy Class

The seat configuration is the usual 3 by 3, with a rather small seat pitch of 78-81 cm (31″-32″). The seat coverings are made of textile of the itchy kind, so don’t wear shorts or T-shirts.

Although there are video monitors fitted on most aircraft, I have never seen them being used on the old 737-400s, and on the new 737-800s they only give the current flight status and the position of the plane. So there is no real in-flight entertainment. Considering that most of THY’s international flights last more than three hours, this is disappointing.

The food is plentiful but not very good. Tomato & cucumber salad with dressing as a starter, usually lamb or chicken as the main course, a fruit salad and a cheese selection for dessert. After a couple of flights you know their standard menu. On domestic Turkish flights you only get a roll – again, considering the vast distances and long flights within Turkey, this is not satisfactory. They use lots of plastic for the wrapping – no European airline could justify that to the environmentally conscious passenger – but ecology is not a big issue in the Middle East, or not yet.

The stewardesses serving the Economy Class aren’t very well trained. They hardly speak English and the slightest unusual request can render them helpless. They are not trained to react in an attentive and informative manner to passenger needs, and most of them also miss the personal intuition to handle tricky situations.

Business Class

On most planes, the seat configuration is the same as in Economy Class. However, the middle seat is left free and converted into a table for drinks, etc. On the newer 737-800s, Turkish Airlines have introduced luxurious Business Class seats in a spacious 2 by 2 configuration with extra legroom. As far as I know, Turkish Airlines and Czech Airlines are the only European airlines to have fitted these spacious seats on their short-haul fleets, so that’s quite outstanding. Again, no in-flight entertainment, though.

The food is slightly better than in Economy, with an extra starter between salad and main course, better options for main course, and a better desert. Nothing impressive, though. I’m used to Business Class meals being served on china and with a cloth table cover, but THY seem to be the only airline to use plastic plates in Business Class, again with all the extra plastic wrapping.

The attention, friendliness and service quality, however, is worlds apart from the incompetence shown in Economy Class. It seems that only the best of THY’s cabin staff get to serve in Business Class and appear to receive extra training for this task. They really read every wish from your eyes and treat you like you are the most important person on the whole plane. They also speak fluent English and sometimes German or French.

Delays, ground service, and baggage handling

Turkish Airlines are the one airline with the most delays that I know. Out of 20 flights with them, I may have arrived on time around 5 times, but I always prepare for delays of one to two hours.

On flights from most Asian airports, you cannot check in for your connecting flight. Luggage will however be checked through. As a result, you have to queue up at the transfer desk in Istanbul, which can easily add twenty minutes to your transfer time. But Turkish Airlines connections at Istanbul usually have a couple of hours between them so you don’t get stressed. That indeed is a problem with Turkish Airlines: their timetable is not well thought through, and stopovers of four hours and more are the usual. My recommendation would be to leave the airport and get a taxi to the city centre, which is around forty-five minutes away.

At Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir airports, Turkish Airlines have so-called CIP Lounges for Business Class passengers and customers with an EliteStatus Card. The lounges are fine, create a cosy atmosphere and provide a wide selection of snacks, drinks, and international newspapers and journals.

LUGGAGE IS A BIG PROBLEM. Unless you are flying on direct flights to/from Turkey without onward flights, you can’t be sure where your luggage will end up and if it will ever be found again. That in itself is a reason not to fly Turkish Airlines. Don’t check in any baggage for connecting flights! All of my five project team members who have been flying with THY to the Caucasus and Central Asia have lost their luggage at least once. I was the only lucky one never to have had my baggage messed up by Turkish Airlines and have since avoided checking in baggage with them.

Turkish Airlines are extremely reluctant to pay compensation. It has taken my colleagues up to one year of intense correspondence and threats of legal action before THY paid any compensation. This of course was the minimum compensation based on IATA regulations, which doesn’t come close to covering the real loss. If you do have to check in baggage, make sure you get proper insurance for it beforehand.

Frequent Flyer Recognition and Alliances

Turkish Airlines were a member of the Qualiflyer Group led by Swissair from 1998 to 2000. This allowed you to collect miles with the Qualiflyer programme on THY flights and benefit from a range of specials.

In autumn 2000, however, Turkish Airlines decided to leave the alliance and introduce their own frequent flyer programme, Miles & Miles. The reasons for this change of strategy have never been communicated. The structure of Miles & Miles is identical to the Qualiflyer Programme, before that one was adapted in late 2000. The only change is that you can now collect miles on domestic Turkish flights.

Partnerships with three of the Qualiflyer Group airlines – Swissair, Sabena and American Airlines – have been maintained, and bonus miles (though not status miles) can still be collected with Qualiflyer on THY international flights.

Prices

Turkish Airlines are extremely cheap! Business fares from western Europe are around £700 return, where BA, Lufthansa and Swissair would charge between £900 and £1,200. Economy specials to Turkey are offered from £150, compared with £300 on other airlines. Middle Eastern and Central Asian destinations can be reached for £350 return, again between 10% and 50% cheaper than the airlines mentioned earlier.

The “Special Atmosphere” on board Turkish Airlines

The first impression in Economy Class is that fellow Turkish passengers are moving their complete households. I have often been asked to check in luggage for someone else because they had already exceeded their weight limit. This must strictly be avoided as it is against IATA rules and safety regulations, and you will be held responsible for whatever is contained in the luggage. What cannot be checked in as luggage is taken on board, so be prepared not to have space left to store your own hand luggage.

Once on board the plane, there is a noisy atmosphere throughout the whole flight. Say you are sitting in row 10, you can be sure that the guy in row 9 will have a heated discussion with his cousin in row 11. The only way to endure it is to engage in the discussion yourself, talk to people, make contacts, exchange stories, experiences and jokes.

A different picture is painted on Turkish Airlines flights to the Caucasus and Central Asia. Almost no Turkish passengers here, but “upper class citizens” from these developing countries, who are returning from shopping in Dubai and show their newly bought goods to each other during the flight. I loathe these people, because they have no idea of the difficulties in their countries, have made some quick dollars in under-the-table deals, and live an elitist life in their nomenklatura quarters.

On these flights to the former Soviet Union, there is always a group of development aid workers, NGO people and representatives of international organisations on the plane. In the good old days when I was working in development aid and microfinance myself and THY were the only carrier to fly there, I was always sure to meet some friends or colleagues on the plane. In Business Class, however, your seat neighbour on flights to Central Asia will almost certainly be a high-ranking executive in the oil business.

Verdict

The Turkish Airlines flight experience is one not to be missed, if only for studies in anthropology. And for the price you can’t ask for much, except for them to take you AND your luggage from A to B. But since THY fail even to provide this basic function, they can’t really be recommended on a rational basis.

Reader’s comment (December 2005)

Jens has written in with the following comment:

“I looked up your article about Turkish Airlines, written by Hajo, and was stunned how biased it is. I have flown Turkish Airlines numerous times, and I would be happy to recommend them. All my flights were internal, so I cannot comment about the international service. I found the airline to be well run and pleasant. Food was good and more than adequate. Even on very short flights (eg 40 minutes from Istanbul to Izmir) a nice snack is served, better than the fare on BA. Flight delays happen, but are minimal under normal circumstances. Customer service is good, baggage is delivered quickly. I see no grounds for the negative rating that Hajo gave this airline.”

The laws of physics have been contradicted. Airplanes can actually fly belly-up. The new Swissair/Crossair is once again aloft, thanks to a cunning plan developed by several Swiss banks. At the end of the process, a new Swiss flag carrier will emerge with a new name.

The puzzled traveller is left with a range of questions, such as:

• Does Swissair still offer the same renowned high quality of service?
• Is Crossair still the best regional airline in Europe?
• Will they both manage to survive?
• How will they merge to form a new airline?
• Are they cutting down on safety to save money?
• Will my tickets remain valid?
• Will my miles be worth anything in the future?

I will attempt to answer these questions in this article from my own experiences with Swissair and Crossair, having flown them quite often recently, and having followed closely their economic development.

Adding to my approximately twenty previous flights with them, I have travelled on Swissair and Crossair on ten flights in December and January 2001/2002. And because a lot has changed in the services they provide since the September turmoil, I will base my verdict solely on these recent flights. These were all short- and medium range European flights between Switzerland, Germany and Romania, plus two domestic flights in Switzerland. All these flights were in Economy Class.

The state of affairs at Swissair: downturn and resurrection

The old Swissair group may go down in the case books for History of Economics as one of the greatest failures in corporate strategy, and certainly as the greatest airline cock-up since the demise of Pan Am. For over five years, Swissair’s hunter strategy was simply to buy any available European air travel company, on the air or on the ground, no matter the cost. And the cost was high. Already in trouble throughout the first half of 2001, Swissair was unfit to accommodate the losses that came with the global downturn in air travel after 11 September.

Between 1995 and 2001, the former Swissair Holding Company SAir Group acquired stakes in a dozen of airlines, including Sabena (Belgium), LOT (Poland), LTU (Germany), AOM / Air Liberté (France), Volare (Italy) and South African Airways, thereby piling up huge financial liabilities and interest cost.

None of these airlines ever generated substantial profits. In fact Sabena, LTU, AOM and Air Liberté were more than once close to biting the dust, and Sabena finally filed for bankruptcy on 3 October 2001. By the end of the year 2000, the small Swiss regional airline Crossair was the only profitable airline in the whole group.

After negotiations with banks and the Swiss government failed, Swissair sought a moratorium for debt repayment at the courts on 1 October, and ceased all flight operations on 2 October, only to resume them the next day with a reduced schedule. But most travel agencies no longer issued tickets for Swissair, and other airlines refused to accept them. Swissair appeared to be bust.

In the months since October 2001, we have become witnesses to a brilliant act of financial engineering and business planning. Under the new structure, the former subsidiary Crossair has been recapitalised by two major Swiss banks to take over parts of Swissair’s operations without assuming its liabilities.

According to the “Phoenix Plus 26/26″ business plan for 2002-2004, a new Swiss flag carrier will be formed this year, the name of which is still undecided. It will operate 26 short range and 26 long range planes from Swissair’s previous fleet, along with the complete previous Crossair fleet of 77 regional aircraft.

What does it all mean to you?

1. You can book Swissair and Crossair tickets again. Travel agents are issuing them again and, should a flight get cancelled, other airlines will accept your ticket as usual.
2. You can trust in their continuing operations, even if you book a ticket for a date much later in the year. Current load factors and revenues exceed the numbers stated in the business plan, making the banks’ and the government’s effort to save the Swiss airline a promising and trustworthy venture.
3. You will like them. In a huge effort to regain your business, Swissair and Crossair will do almost everything to keep you happy whilst on board their planes. In five years of flying with them frequently, I have never seen their staff acting as friendly as now.
4. You can save a lot of money. Flying with a quality airline in Europe has never been so cheap (leaving aside the huge increases in airport taxes and security fees). Bargain offers from Crossair and Swissair are all over the place.
5. Your “Qualiflyer” Miles retain and gain in value. Swissair has never been so generous in throwing away bonus miles. With a bit of cleverness at exploiting their mileage offers, you can now secure your free holiday flights for the next ten years. And the “Qualiflyer Group” alliance appears to be secured, although with fewer airlines than before.
6. But you should expect some flight disruptions. Flight delays, cancellations and baggage delays are currently the rule, not the exception. And the ground handling operator, Swissport, appears to be in a real mess.

The new fleet & network: a fine balance

Following the consolidation of Swissair and Crossair, the two airlines now operate with a reduced fleet of 52 Swissair planes and 77 Crossair aircraft. Together they operate one of the youngest and most modern fleets in Europe.

Swissair long haul:
11 Boeing/McDonnell-Douglas MD-11
15 Airbus A330-200

Swissair short & medium haul:
26 Airbus A319/A320/A321

Crossair short haul:
8 Boeing/McDonnell-Douglas MD-82/83
19 BAe/AVRO

Regional Jets 85/100
18 Embraer Regional Jets 145
32 Saab 2000/340 Turboprops

A cut in Crossair’s charter flight operations has allowed them to take over most of the European routes that Swissair no longer serves. Thus the decrease in continental destinations and flight frequencies is rather marginal. Swiss domestic and intercontinental flights have suffered instead, particularly with a large reduction of flights to North and South America, the Middle East and Central Asia.

For the Economy Class passenger, the joint Swissair/Crossair fleet comes with the largest seat pitch available worldwide. An amazing 35 inches are more than some airlines offer in the Business Class cabins on board their short-haul aircraft. I have always felt comfortable on board Swissair – even on a middle seat you can still stretch out. As you may or may not expect, all seats are made of real leather, soft and shiny.

On top of that, Crossair’s fleet in particular is made up of aircraft with rather large cabin width, allowing them to install wider seats without losing capacity. There is also no discomfort from the usual noise and vibrations in Crossair’s turboprop aircraft, for the Saab 2000s are fitted with an “active noise reduction system” which works amazingly well. Yet Crossair plans to replace all turboprops with Embraer 145 Jets by 2006, and the AVRO Jets with the brand new Embraer 170 as of 2004.

On the whole, full points for Swissair and Crossair on comfort, interior and fleet.

Meals & in-flight service: a smile in the skies

“A smile in the skies” is actually the slogan of competitor Austrian Airlines. But it describes best my experiences on board recent Crossair and Swissair flights. Whilst Crossair staff have always been among the friendliest in the air worldwide, Swissair has now followed suit.

With Crossair, the positive impression continues with Economy Class meals. That’s if you don’t travel in the morning, for the “breakfast” consists of a plain dry croissant without topping. But for lunch and dinner your receive the best rolls and sandwiches in the air, with such choices as “Bündner Fleisch” (a delicate Swiss kind of smoked ham), French herbed cottage cheese, different kinds of Swiss cheese, plus fish. Still only rolls, but considering that most Crossair flights don’t last longer than an hour, that’s fine with me. Throughout the flight, you get served numerous kinds of sweets, Swiss chocolate, candies and fruits. Coffee and cold drinks are served in china and glass respectively, none of the typical Economy Class plastic wrappings here. The frequency of servings throughout the flight reminds me of the Business Class Service of other airlines.

On board Swissair, little has changed on the medium-haul flights, although there are no longer two options of warm dishes. The main course is quite edible, always cooked to perfection and appealing in taste. Worth a mention are the salads as a starter, these are by far the best and largest Economy Class salads I have come across. As on board Crossair, once again loads of Swiss chocolate and sweets throughout the flight.

On both Swissair and Crossair, no meals are served on Swiss domestic flights in Economy Class. But considering that none of these flights last longer than 45 minutes, this can be forgiven.

Swissair has opted for the most awkward choice of in-flight entertainment on its short and medium haul fleet: video without audio. And since (understandably) money is being saved on this service, I have seen the same two programmes on all flights: one series of sketches, Just for the laughs, and one cartoon, Pink Panther. Money is also saved where it’s needed least: November’s Swissair Gazette, the in-flight magazine, can still be found in the seat pockets in January.

Altogether, this makes for a quite positive impression of Swissair’s and Crossair’s meals and on board service in Economy Class.

Ground handling, flight delays & baggage losses: old pains at new heights

Whereas Swissair and Crossair have always played in the premier league of service in the air, I have never liked their ground service operations. The staff of the group company Swissport, in an attempt to make all clichés about Swiss arrogance come true, typically do it all by the book. And if your particular case isn’t mentioned in the book, then it’s not meant to exist. Thank you and goodbye. On one occasion in the past, when I complained about ground service delays making me miss my onward flight, I received the answer that I should fly Lufthansa if I didn’t like their service. I happily followed this advice for the next two years. But I was prepared to approach them without prejudice when I started flying Swissair & Crossair again this winter.

With regard to delays, baggage and ground service, the result of these ten most recent flights is anything but positive:

• · 5 of the 10 flights were delayed more than 15 minutes, including one delay of one hour and another one of 45 minutes. Whilst waiting in Zürich, I also heard far more delay announcements than should be normal.
• · Swissair and Crossair together lost my luggage twice. Considering that these ten flight segments were flown on five connections, that makes for a quota of 40 percent. Whilst one baggage loss was caused by a delay, and thus a short connection, the other one happened after a two-hour stopover in Zürich, enough time to process baggage in transit.
• · On all occasions, I was denied an overnight body care set, let alone a voucher or compensation offer to buy some clothes. Swissair’s ground agent in Bucharest, Globe Ground Romania, said they had no information about compensation plans, and I should contact Swissair in Zürich directly. In Düsseldorf I was told (in a rather harsh tone) that I was not entitled to anything because this was my place of residence and not an outbound destination. I am still in the process of negotiating both cases with Swissport headquarters.
• · However, in both cases Swissair/Crossair flew in the lost baggage with the next plane and delivered it promptly to my doorstep.
• · On several occasions – booking tickets, checking-in, boarding, or claiming lost luggage – I have observed ground staff complaining in front of passengers about bad working conditions, delays and the high number of passengers’ complaints. I regard this practice as highly unprofessional.

Thus the old picture of Swissair & Crossair remains: great in the air, but mediocre on the ground.

Flight safety: “Zürich, we have a problem…”

Swissair and Crossair were once seen as two of the safest airlines worldwide. But a series of fatal crashes in the last four years has left a big mark on the airlines’ safety record:

• 2 September 1998, flight SR 111: a Swissair MD-11 en route from New York to Geneva crashed off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada, killing all 215 passengers and 14 crew members. The cause of the accident is still under investigation, but believed to be connected to a short-circuit in the aircraft’s in-flight entertainment system.
• 10 January 2000, flight LX 498: a Crossair Saab 340 crashed shortly after take-off from Zürich to Dresden, all seven passengers and three crew died in the accident. The cause of the accident remains unknown.
• 14 November 2001, flight LX 3597: a Crossair AVRO RJ100 from Berlin crashed from low altitude during its landing approach towards Zürich. Of the 33 people onboard, only twelve passengers and two crew survived the crash. The accident is still under investigation, although the lack of an Instrument Landing System (ILS) on Zürich’s Runway 28 may have contributed to the situation.

There has been widespread speculation about possibly lax safety procedures, particularly at Crossair. But in June 2000, an independent expert commission, albeit identifying some weaknesses in Crossair’s flight planning and organisational structure, certified a high level of aircraft maintenance and flight safety. If we are to believe the official announcements of Swissair and Crossair, the two airlines are doing their utmost to prevent further accidents, which includes applying the industry’s strictest safety measures. They also keep saying that the airlines’ cost saving measures will in no way affect flight safety operations.

A remaining concern, at least for this year, will be a safety problem at Zürich Airport. In 2001 the Swiss and German governments negotiated new landing paths for late night hours, which require flights landing after 9pm to descend towards Runway 28. This runway has no ILS, and will only get one in 2003. At times of bad weather and visibility, a manual approach can bear a potential risk.

Thus for the time being, until the accidents are fully investigated and the ILS installed, a little doubt over the safety of Swissair and Crossair remains.

Prices & Qualiflyer promotions: does anybody still pay for their flights?

Having said all this, you may ask why I have chosen the new Swissair/Crossair as my preferred airline, for the time being. The answer is because of both price and a warm shower of extra miles into my “Qualiflyer” account.

Most European destinations are currently offered from almost anywhere else in Europe at below £200, all included, for a return flight in Economy Class with a weekend stay. Considering that ticket prices have increased immensely throughout the industry due to new security fees and higher airport taxes since 11 September, these prices are now among the lowest offered by any European quality carrier.

Another great incentive are the current mileage programme promotions, which offer double and triple miles, plus significantly reduced award tickets, almost throughout the entire network. It has never been so easy to secure your free flights with the “Qualiflyer” programme. And because the restructuring efforts appear to be successful, Swissair & Crossair, and most of the other Qualiflyer airlines, will manage to survive. For the time being, your miles are safe, and growing.

On top of that, Swissair and Crossair keep sending out special mileage offers to selected longstanding customers. They are offering literally hundreds of thousands of extra miles, depending on the number of flights and class of service. My four paid Economy flights in December (i.e. one round trip Düsseldorf – Zürich – Bucharest) gained me an enormous 26,000 miles – that’s more than one free round trip flight in Business Class in Europe. Even better, their latest offer will gain me 240,000 !!! extra miles for the mere investment of £600 in paid tickets. If they stay in business, I won’t have to pay for my private flights for the next five years.

Thumbs up and fingers crossed for the new Swissair and Crossair, plus a slightly mileage-biased 7 out of 10 points in the Hajo’s World airline rankings.

The aftermath of the events of 11 September has seen many respectable international airlines accumulating severe losses. But those which actually went belly-up, Swissair and its Belgian subsidiary Sabena, did so because of a five-year-long unreasonable hunter strategy performed by the SAir Group’s ex-CEO Philippe Bruggisser, a path to which the terrorist attacks presented only the final blow. And whilst the German charter carrier LTU, another SAir subsidiary, only just avoided bankruptcy by state intervention, I had secretly hoped for the bereavement of another one: LOT Polish Airlines, of which 25% is owned by, guess who, the remains of the former Swissair holding company SAir. But it appears that LOT, despite its terrible service record, will manage to survive.

Questionable honours

For three years in a row, LOT Polish Airlines have been awarded the title of “Best Airline in Eastern Europe” by Business Traveller magazine. I have checked my boarding passes again. LOT Polish Airlines. Polskie Linie Lotnicze. Same airline, no spelling mistake.

The same airline that has given me numerous headaches on over forty flights Berlin – Warsaw, Düsseldorf – Warsaw, and on to further destinations in Poland and beyond. The airline which made me swear I would never again work for a company which obliged me to book the cheapest Business Class ticket available.

Before I let you into my disastrous experiences with LOT, I have to ask how such titles are awarded by Business Traveller and similar journals.

Every year the British frequent flyer journal Business Traveller asks its readers to complete a survey embracing everything from airlines and frequent flyer programmes to luxury hotels and car rental agencies. The survey is split down into endless categories by product and region, e.g. best hotels on every continent, best hotel worldwide, best hotel chain, etc, etc.

The problem is that you are required to answer every question. Best hotel in South East Asia? I don’t have a clue. Can’t afford them anyway. But the Oriental Hotel and the Siam Inter-Continental, both in Bangkok, enjoy excellent reputations. So one year I will nominate the Oriental, next year the Siam, if I still remember which one I have chosen the year before.

It must be the same with LOT. Voted for by all those wannabe frequent flyers who read Business Traveller in airline lounges and hotel lobbies, but have never been to Eastern Europe, let alone flown with LOT. “They won the title last year so they must be good,” says the uninitiated and votes for LOT as Best Airline in Eastern Europe, starting just another round in the self-perpetuating cycle of backslapping.

Thus your Britishexpat.com travel correspondent, the defender of truth, feared by the Lonely Planet for his revealing articles, has once again embarked on a selfless mission to free humankind from the perils of yet another suffocating airline.

The truth about LOT

In my rage against LOT Polish Airlines, let me start with the few positive aspects. I will then escalate my bad experiences, closing with LOT’s most disgusting flaws. This is called rhetoric. The last impression will stick and you will avoid LOT from then on. And that’s exactly what I have in mind. For your own good sake, of course.

Good price

LOT are cheap. Although they can’t beat the dumping prices offered by CSA Czech Airlines and MALEV Hungarian Airlines for both business and economy tickets, they are far cheaper than western airlines and often provide the best combination of timetable and price.

LOT offer Business Specials basically throughout their complete network, and these are usually 30% to 40% cheaper than the official IATA Business Fares. Thus LOT beat the Business Specials available on selected routes from Lufthansa, Austrian and Scandinavian by another 10% to 20%. Economy Specials are also available and particularly cheap on newly opened routes, but you will often find the same price tickets from other, better airlines, although that may result in a stopover in Frankfurt, Prague or Vienna.

If your employer’s travel guidelines compel you to fly on the cheapest Business Class ticket available on a reasonable timetable, than you are almost sure to fly LOT on flights to Poland and many other destinations in eastern Europe.

Reasonable fleet & network

LOT flies to around forty European cities, around ten cities in Poland, and a handful of long-distance destinations, mostly in North America. Most flights operate on a hub-and-spoke system to and from Warsaw, although there are some decentralised routes within Poland and around a dozen international flights from other Polish cities.

The fleet is built around Boeing’s 737 workhorses, and long-haul flights are operated with Boeing 767s. Short commuter flights are served with ATR turboprops, and LOT introduced Embraer Regional Jets in the year 2000.

When LOT joined the Qualiflyer Group in Spring 2000 after Swissair’s buy-in, new routes were introduced to link Warsaw with other Qualiflyer hubs and to extend the alliance’s reach into Eastern Europe, which had largely suffered from Austrian Airlines’ defection to the healthier Star Alliance.

After Swissair’s and Sabena’s burial the Qualiflyer Group is now but a caricature of an airline alliance. But LOT’s autonomous Central and Eastern European network should serve well to woo new partners.

Seat discomfort

Seating onboard LOT aircraft is narrow and uncomfortable, both in Business and Economy Class. The seat configuration is 3 – 3 on the Boeing 737, 2 – 2 on the ATR turboprops, and 1 – 2 on the regional jets. And that’s the same for both classes. LOT, inventor of the middle-seat-experience in Business Class.

The turboprop flights are particularly dreadful, because LOT employs the noisy first generation ATRs 42 and 72, and has fitted them with extremely narrow and scratchy seats.

Slightly more comfortable are the flights on the 50-seat regional jets with shiny leather seats. These operate on routes with little traffic. And because LOT serves many of these regional routes in competition with such established airlines as Lufthansa, there are usually few people on board, which gives you some extra space.

Dreadful food

As I’ve said before, I have flown with LOT around forty times on half-a-dozen routes and believe me, the food was ALWAYS EXACTLY THE SAME! Not a single change in the menu in two years. That would just be bearable if at least this one meal was good. But unfortunately it is not.

In Business Class you receive a small plate with what I believe to be some kind of cold liver pâté, served with a Polish jam as a topping. A leaf of lettuce on the side and a cold, soft roll, and that’s it. The Economy meal consists of two rolls, one with ham and one with cheese, one slice each. After ten flights you just can’t face it any more and opt for a no-frills flight. Even the food on the Trans Siberian Railway is better. The only way to endure the flight is plenty of Bloody Marys with Polish Vodka.

Fraudulent practice, allegedly

[Allegedly - The Ed] LOT collects twice on some tickets and will never reimburse you the overpaid amount unless you threaten them with legal action. How? Say you are booking a LOT flight through your corporate travel agent. Once arrived in Warsaw you decide to stay a day longer and thus need to have your ticket changed. So you call your travel agent, rebook, your agent confirms the change and might even forward a fax to you with a change of booking certified by LOT’s local office, paid through your corporate account with the agent (if ticket restrictions require a surcharge, as with most Business Specials and Economy fares).

Upon your check-in at Warsaw airport, LOT for sure won’t know anything about the change, let alone the payment. You may even show them the fax from their very own office, and they will still insist that the change of booking and payment are not registered in the system, and will require you to pay again on the spot. If you refuse, they simply won’t let you board the flight. Full stop. You can ask for the supervisor, the station manager or the Pope himself, they won’t change their minds. It’s happened to me three times.

All you can do later is to hand in the receipt to corporate bookkeeping, hoping they will pay again for something they have already paid for. Or bombard LOT with letters hoping that after half a year they will react and reimburse you, only after you’ve checked the Warsaw Yellow Pages for a good Polish lawyer.

Ultimate failure

LOT’s ground service in Poland is disastrous. If you are departing from Warsaw and need to deal with the local ticket office, then God help you. Whilst your fellow passengers check in, pass through passport control, board the plane and wave at the spectators on the visitors’ terrace from the plane which is already rolling along the taxiway, you are still queueing in front of an understaffed ticket counter, with no express desk for Business Class passengers.

On one of these occasions, queueing for half an hour just to spend another half an hour watching an absolutely clueless lady trying to change my ticket, I got a little bit annoyed. Annoyance turned into outrage as I went through the usual procedure: asking for the supervisor, the station manager, and ultimately for the Pope. I received a very eloquent reply: F*CK YOU!

This put a sudden end to my relationship with LOT Polish Airlines. I returned my ticket, bought a new one from Lufthansa, and embarked on a pleasant flight to Düsseldorf. The next day I persuaded our CFO to adapt our corporate travel guidelines. I have never since flown with LOT.

These experiences are particularly disappointing because I have come to appreciate the high service standards of other Polish firms. Poland in general has established a very friendly business environment. But LOT Polish Airlines, although now partially privatised, still prefer to run on a communist mentality in some service areas.

LOT Polish Airlines

Hajo’s World rating: 3 out of 10 points

Website: www.lot.com

IATA Code: LO

[Editor's note: BMED was absorbed into BMI in October 2007.]

BMED (formerly British Mediterranean Airways) is a franchise of British Airways which operates routes to the Middle East, the Caucasus and Central Asia. British Mediterranean’s schedule currently includes the following destinations:

Aleppo, Alexandria, Amman, Baku, Beirut, Bishkek (via Tbilisi), Damascus, Luxor, Tbilisi, Teheran (via Baku) and Yerevan (via Tbilisi).

With these franchise operations British Airways have opened up connections to many cities along the ancient Silk Road which so far are served only by a handful of European carriers. And because the days of the silk caravans have long gone by, travel on these routes is so thin that it wouldn’t justify the employment of BA’s own 767, 777 or 747 wide-body long-haul aircraft. Thus BMED’s smaller Airbus 320s are put to good use, and have been fitted with extra fuel tanks to do the job.

Practical answers to philosophical questions

It can be argued whether the Caucasus destinations of Baku, Tbilisi and Yerevan geographically still belong to Europe, or form part of the Asian landmass. BMED have chosen not to participate in such solely philosophical discussions and have fitted the A320s with a complete intercontinental interior set-up, albeit without a First Class. Fair enough for what is typically a five- to six-hour flight.

Business Class: BMED comes up with the same (old) Club World cabin which – depending on viewpoint – we have come to love or hate on board British Airways, including the famous “Cradle Seats”. Although these seats have meanwhile reached the maturity of a middle-aged Bordeaux wine, I think they are still among the best in the whole airline industry. Excellent seat comfort with lumbar support and far recline, and eight-channel personal video are all you could wish for. Yet there are no credit card phones or plugs for laptops on board the small Airbus fleet, but this may prepare you well for the lack of infrastructure to be expected at your eastern destination.

Economy Class: Expanding on a theme of Middle Eastern history, BMED have reinvented the Babylonian Captivity on board their flights. The 31-inch seat pitch in economy class will remind you of charter flight standards. And because these flights are usually packed to the last seat, an economy class journey with BMED can be quite torturous. Relief comes in the form of relatively good in-flight entertainment. LCD screens are installed in every third row, with very good visibility, plus twelve-channel in-seat audio. That’s not as good as the personal video on board BA’s new Boeing 777s, but an advance on the greater part of the British Airways fleet. A typical six hours’ flight with BMED will come with two movies, two or three comedy series and cartoons, plus news and a travel feature.

The Last Crusade

Stoning still being a common punishment for crime in Iran, the catering chef of BMED would be ill-advised to board one of his airline’s flights to Teheran. Passengers to Damascus may feel reminded of the nine crusades between 1096 and 1272 AD. The latest crusade comes in the form of English food on board flights to the Middle East, and is once again destined to bring ailment to Damascus.

Meals, snacks and especially the wine collection are as bad as the sufferings on board British Airways. The meals are always overcooked and without much taste, and the English White makes me run for the toilet to throw up. BA and BMED alike serve what I consider the worst meals of any European “quality” airline.

One overnight flights, i.e. most of BMED’s outbound flights to the East, no breakfast or morning coffee is served. Some passengers may prefer the extra sleep on a flight that arrives at five in the morning, but I would prefer to be given a choice between sleep and breakfast, as practised on other airlines.

If you request a coffee outside the regular service times, this comes as a lousy Nescafé instant coffee. The effect this has on me is similar to that described for the English white wine.

From clashes to crashes

In a world where everybody is expected to speak English, British Mediterranean pilots appear somewhat unprepared for the language and culture clashes with Russian-speaking ground controllers. The experience of a landing approach to Tbilisi aborted at the last minute, apparently after descending towards the wrong runway, has left me feeling a bit uneasy about this airline. Human error and misunderstandings between pilots and ground staff being the main reason for (near-) crashes over ex-Soviet territory, you would expect that pilots who regularly fly these routes received special training.

No such culture clashes are to be expected in the passenger cabin. Unlike British Airways’ own staff, BMED flight attendants come from a variety of countries and are multilingual. If you fly with them regularly you quickly get to know the crew. It’s a small airline with few staff and a personal touch.

A modern-day Odyssey

Flights to Bishkek, Teheran and Yerevan are operated with intermediate stops in Baku or Tbilisi. As a result travellers to these destinations have to reckon on an extra one to three hours of flight time and another hour spent on the ground. Extra hours spent in your seat, for there is no disembarking on ground stops. Thus what could be a swift seven hours’ transfer to Bishkek turns into a twelve-hour odyssey.

Sadly you cannot book the onward segments alone, say from Tbilisi to Yerevan or from Baku to Tehran. British Airways have failed to negotiate so-called “beyond rights” or “fifth freedom rights” with these countries which would allow them to pick up passengers in a country other than the UK and fly them to a third country.

Competitor Lufthansa demonstrates that this is possible with its Frankfurt-Baku-Ashgabat route, which allows bookings for the second segment alone and cuts travel across the Caspian Sea by a day. Especially on BA’s Tbilisi-Yerevan route this would be highly desirable, as this is the only flight connection between the two cities, and road travel takes a whole day for a mere 300 miles.

Prices

Economy Class return tickets start at around £250-£300 for Middle East destinations, £400 for the Caucasus, and £600 for Bishkek. Full-fare Business Class return tickets come at £1,500-£1,800. Call that expensive and you are right, considering that the same money could also buy you a ticket to South East Asia, twice as far. But on most of these routes other airlines will charge you exactly the same, because these are very thin routes with little competition or tourist traffic.

Alternatives

For a handful of destinations served by BMED, you should consider alternative offers which are either significantly cheaper or more convenient in terms of routing and transit times.

Bishkek: Turkish Airlines offer three flights per week to Bishkek compared to BMED’s one per fortnight, and prices start at around £400 return in economy class. You don’t need to take the longer flight time and ground waiting in Tbilisi, but can plan a proper transit or stop-over in Istanbul. Alternatively, Lufthansa, KLM and Swissair offer direct flights to Almaty with a bus transit to Bishkek. The total travel time is around the same as with BMED, but more comfortable. However, flights to Almaty are even more expensive, at around £700 economy return. Watch out for occasional specials from KLM, though.

Tbilisi: Airzena Georgian Airlines offer business class return fares at £600 from Frankfurt to Tbilisi. Add to that £350 for a business class ticket to/from Frankfurt and you still save £500 compared to BA’s full fare.

Alexandria & Luxor: These being increasingly popular tourist destinations, you should be able to find charter flights for £150-£200 return, i.e. half the price of a BA economy class ticket, depending on season.

Conclusion

Despite the irony I have applied in some passages, BMED are generally a reliable airline with friendly service. Meals, never a strength of British Airways, won’t be a great surprise to seasoned expat travellers with Executive Club baggage tags in shiny gold or silver. Inconvenient routings and rather expensive; the latter is probably not your problem, but may unnecessarily blow the travel budget of the FCO, company or NGO that pays for your travel. 6 out of 10 points in total.

British Mediterranean Airways

Airline Code: KJ

BMA website

British Airways flight Nos BA 6700-6749

Flights depart from Heathrow Terminal 4.