In 1998 I emigrated from Surbiton, as anyone intelligent would do.
However, instead of moving somewhere sensible, like Cheam, I moved to New Zealand. The time has come (perhaps) for me to wend my way home 'cos I miss so many things. Joys like waiting for 3 buses to turn up at once, if at all, getting ripped off by British Rail and paying stupid prices for car insurance are all much missed. So, for that matter, are superb cheese, a decent pint, woods full of bluebells and architecture worthy of the name.
The complex bit is that I don't think I'm going to find it easy. When I left in 1998 I was a worker. Now I'm on an invalid benefit. My health issues are:
A nasty heart last November (lucky to be alive).
A small stroke last August.
Insulin dependent diabetes.
Failing eyesight in my right eye (I'll need a cataract op in a year or two).
Diabetic peripheral neuropathy.
And I'm probably Asperger's (going through the diag for that now).
So, does the team think I would:
be on a similar benefit there?
have trouble actually getting on a benefit?
have trouble finding somewhere to live?
I should point out that I'd arrive in the country with little more than loose change in my pocket, if that.