Aye, Hamish was a terrible lad. He was the squire and owned all the land around, making life a misery for his peasanty tenants. There was just no controlling his extravagant consumerism, he had more pairs of breeks than Imelda Marcos had shoes. He was despised in the community.
Then Aileen caught his eye at the car boot sale one day...
Arrghh! Don't get me started! I probably could churn out one of these in a week. Maybe I should, but there's still food and drink in the fridge so I don't feel that desperate yet.