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Thinking of moving to North America please help

Here's a forum to talk about all the ins and outs of leaving the UK and launching yourself into the wide blue yonder - selling up, saying goodbyes, all that sort of thing. NB - this is NOT for country-specific issues; please post those on the appropriate country forum.

Postby Scotsgirl » Fri 11 Jan 2008 16:10 GMT

Sorry, Im not here to offend or anything but you sound like you are upset about what i said.
I wasn't trying to be rude.

I dont think i have said anything wrong or nasty.
I do treat people with respect i was asking very politely where everyone was because i thought that my thread was forgotten.

Can you tell me where the specific forum is to post regarding US questions then please?
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Postby Savannah_Alan » Fri 11 Jan 2008 19:03 GMT

Hi Sarah,
I think I did answer most of your specific questions. It's difficult for us to answer comparative questions because we only live in one of the places and (mostly) are there for a reason. We all have our opinions, which will be of limited use to you.

As far as pros and cons for the US V the UK: again, this is very subjective, but, for me, particularly in the South, I find it quite difficult to really "click" with a lot of the people here.
This is mostly due to massive cultural differences and vastly differing views to the majority concerning religion and politics. The vast majority here are extremely religious - quite fundamentally so, very right-wing and unworldly.
In my experience it's quite rare to find many truly "real" people that I know so well from the UK. You're right that they are very polite and friendly in the South, but it doesn't stand up to much scrutiny because it's mostly just talk.
Having said that, if you accept that you're going to mostly come across extremely pleasant and polite people during your daily interactions - but don't expect much that runs deeper - then daily life can be very pleasant.

Lately, I have found one or two people that are very nice to be around, but it has taken some time to find them! I'm fortunate to have a really lovely couple as neighbours here. I really enjoy spending time with them and we always have fun and interesting conversation. Even with them though, I'm still continually having to watch what I say because I'm aware that, though we try to avoid the subjects, we still differ massively on quite major viewpoints (again mostly political and religious). Occasionally though, as in this case, you seem to reach a point where there is a tacit agreement to avoid these subjects and you can all get on fine.
On the whole, I find that individually, most people I come across here are very pleasant and nice. Collectively - and often with their "e-persona", I can find them obnoxious in the extreme.

I have always found the states to be quite oppressive in terms of police and government interference and control. I actually believe this to be a reason why so many Americans are forever going on about "freedom" and telling each other how bad every other country in the world is - it diverts attention from examining their own situation. They hang on to things like the fact that they can own guns as an ultimate sign of true freedom, yet they'll completely accept that they're living under huge rule-sets and continually have to show their "papers" - aka - driving license just to conduct their daily business.

As an Englishman, it really irks that if I go to the local bar, I have to be fitted with an armband all the time I'm there if I'd like to drink. This rule will be enforced by the ever-present armed policeman. Somebody coming up and physically "fitting" me with a tag so that I may be allowed to sit and enjoy a drink really hits me as an affront and invasion of my liberty yet it's just par for the course for these people that are so "free".

Prices are generally cheaper than the UK. This is mostly for luxury or non-essential goods. I find that groceries and utilities are about the same price as in the UK.

See, I avoided going into much detail here because there was always the chance that it would come across as a moan. Having read back on the last, it seems it did :roll:.

This is the trouble. All of my views are by definition subjective and the next person may find a completely different America to me. This is why our views will be of limited use to you. Certainly very few of us are qualified to make comparisons between countries.

If you have specific questions I'm sure we will be glad to answer them.

Good luck with whatever you do!

Alan.
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Postby Scotsgirl » Fri 11 Jan 2008 20:14 GMT

Wow, from what you say its like you have to watch what you say around them, i find that uncomfortable as im used to not having to worry about that here and i am able to have a drink freely. What is all that carry on with armbands all about is that an American thing?

Seems like we have more rights here, only freedom they have is just to own guns but i'd rather have what i have here.

Dont get me wrong American - especially the south is apealling but i dont like these ones that preach constantly that cannot even have a laugh with you. I've always wondered why they are like that.

Do you want to come back to the UK?

P.S do you have yahoo or MSN instant messenger?
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Postby Savannah_Alan » Fri 11 Jan 2008 20:44 GMT

Scotsgirl wrote:Wow, from what you say its like you have to watch what you say around them, i find that uncomfortable...


That's exactly it and that gets wearisome. The difference is always there looming. Sometimes it works for you (as in last night with the waitress half my age markedly flirting with me :D). Sometimes against you as you're always regarded as an anomaly.

I don't don't want to paint too bleak a picture though. As long as you understand the "rules" and can live with them, life here can be very pleasant. I also think that the nearer you are to a large city (Atlanta in my case), the better it is going to be in terms of finding more liberal and open-minded people.

The thing about the armbands is something I have only seen in America, and to be honest I can't see them getting away with doing that in most other places. That's really the point - that people seem to accept that kind of invasion as par for the course. It's the whole air of "guilty until proven innocent" by continually having to prove your identity and veracity in the most benign places and situations.

To be honest, I've found far less "preaching" where I live now than when I lived further South in the state. Despite this, you always have to be aware that it's there and to watch what you're saying. I'm sure I offend some people by the use of the word "damn" sometimes, but there is a limit to which I will temper my natural tendency to "cuss words" as they call them here :roll:.

To answer your question as to whether I want to come back to the UK, I think that in the long term I will consider it seriously. I worry about growing old here - given the ludicrous state of the health industry.
The trouble is that, despite my ramblings, there are some things that I do like here. I really love the place I live now - mostly because of the atmosphere in the little town in which I live and the wonderful scenery. Probably the biggest thing is the weather though. I think it would be very hard for me to give up the wonderful weather we have here.
I'm pretty sure that if I left now, I'd be hankering for here. Here, I hanker for home (UK). I'm buggered really :lol:. May daughters live in England though and that's a huge pull for me.

I do have various IM options. They're listed in my profile, or available as links at the bottom of every message posted.

Alan.
Don't forget, there's much going on at the main site: http://www.britishexpat.com
The Safe Scooter Riding blog. www.ScootSafely.com
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Postby Scotsgirl » Sat 12 Jan 2008 11:57 GMT

I've added you to my MSN messenger, i feel it would be more appropriate for me to talk to you there.
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Postby kareni » Sun 2 Mar 2008 01:45 GMT

hey Scots girl,
Im a scotsgirl, living in Canada, and LOVE it here, I would never go back to UK to live, the people here are so friendly, money is better (my hubby gets $54,000 a year), we can afforfd to live on one wage, we stay in Lethbridge in Alberta, and its great, any more questions from another scots girl, then just email me, - - canadian.arab@shaww.ca

Karen
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Postby kareni » Sun 2 Mar 2008 01:46 GMT

sorry email address is canadian.arab@shaw.ca
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Postby shaka » Thu 1 May 2008 23:51 GMT

I have been to different part of USA many time on family visit with my american wife.. we are still in Uk and i am still confuse what to do.. move or stay... I have lives in London my whole life.. and love it here but the price and the cost of living is too much nowadays... But what i am worries is that if we move there with our kids and realise i want to move back but my wife doesn't?
Also i have been to southern many time.. yes i do have to pretend smile sometime... i felt like a recluse spider after while.. because america and england are completely different... our way of thinking is different.. but there are some that you can get on well but it is not the same with your own friends.. That is what i am worries about...... everything is so far apart.. very diverted.. same fashion which made me day dream a lot more... poor people in one area, middle class in that area and rich people in another area which made life bleak.. but then after staying there for long time... different class had become fasinating for me at one of the store because i hardly see them much.. In london i don't notice anything, it is hard to make decision.... In the southern i notice most older kids go to bar a lot.. because there is nothing to do at night.. you will have to drive all the time to get to the places.. in London i can go wherever i want on foot or get anything without hassle.. in there you would have to wait for bus to arrive for hour or watching cars driving past, too many chain stores here there and everywhere. my worstest is the mall... it is nice there but i like to go in one shop and then come out for air and to see different class of people walk by enjoying themselves and then go into another store.. i do like USA but i worry.. about moving there and started to glance out the windowing thinking about the old time in UK non stop till im old... what do i do? New York is nice.. but i remember wanting to sit down a lot after while :lol: some part of Birmingham AL is nice too because some area remind me of richmond, greenwich UK, kind of village feel but in the city... Is anybody expat living in US came from London here? i loves notting hill the most.. and want to go somewhere that are similar to notting hill... LA maybe? but what about earthquake? and posion spider? But mostly i am scared that i won't make friends (not that i can't make friends because i can just pop out and make friend in 4mins) But what if they are completely different? what if i find them really boring? i think it is to do with language jargon... maybe i should go there and just be myself and see what attract people to me.. that way i may make real friends that i will like? god this is depressing... because i am on rental in Uk and it is hard to let that go since am on good deal... if we want to come back but got no where to stay apart from family.. there is four of us so it would feel bit overcrowding.... Im scared that if we move.. then i regret the decision and want to move back but my wife may want to stay.. also my girls are in one of the best school... should i take them out and move to USA while they are young? Or should i move to France which is only 2hours on eurotunnel?? or 8/10hours flight to USA? DId you feel like that before you moved?
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