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Decisions, decisions...

breaking the news to the grandparents

Have I made the right choice? Homesickness etc.

Postby Nomad » Tue 12 Apr 2005 19:37 GMT

Ouch, sounds like there was real issues there Canadastew. Sometimes peoples reactions are not warnings just confirmation that what we are doing is the right thing for us.

My Mother was over the moon to hear my plans (my father disappeared over the hills long ago!). She thinks it is the best thing I could do. I'm 35 with no home, no ties and determined to make a fresh start overseas. She has been asking me every week whether I have started my applications etc. She is even talking about selling the family home to give me half to fund my re-location. She would come too given half the chance!

There is no right or wrong way to tell nearest and dearest, you can only call the ball as it flies. I have yet to tell me business partner (she WILL NOT be impressed).

But it is true, you have to be selfish once in your life.
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Telling the family

Postby minimad » Wed 13 Apr 2005 11:45 GMT

Hi everyone

Like many people I am absolutely terrible at keeping secrets especially when Im this excited so we have told family and friends about the move and the reactions have been quite varied. Not least because of the family situation.

I am lucky in one respect that I do not have a relationship with either of my parents and so did not have to go through the why are you doing this to me speech - in truth they may find out by accident or never find out at all which is ok.

My friends on the other hand have been supportive but sad until I told them that naturally they would be welcome to stay and with flights out to Canada for around £139 it would be a really cheap holiday for them.

I woudl agree with everyone else's posts in that you have to be selfish about this - this is a decision for you and your partner, other family members have an opinion but its yours and partners views that matter.

I do think its awful when you get the "how can you leave me" speech which my partner got from his grown up daughter. Bear in mind she is grown up, married, three children of her own but still wanted her dad to live round the corner, for her benefit. Incidentally, we have seen more of her since we told the family we were emigrating!

Partner's son on the other hand being less selfish wished us all the best and declared he wished he could come too. Told us we should do what makes us happy which is an echo of his fathers belief that you live your life to suit yourself :D (as long as your not harming anyone else)

I think only you can know when the best time to tell the family is, but for us we accentuated the positives, and in order to fend off the inevitable questions about "have you heard yet", we have told them that it is a very long drawn out process which could take up to 3 years.

If you are happy and your partner is happy - thats all that matters. :D

Good luck
MiniMad
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Re: Telling the family

Postby Morwenna » Thu 5 May 2005 16:37 GMT

minimad wrote:
........in order to fend off the inevitable questions about "have you heard yet", we have told them that it is a very long drawn out process which could take up to 3 years.

MiniMad


ROFL!!!!

..and you think that will make one iota of difference????
I'm sure people don't listen!

:lol:
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Postby carolinedraper » Wed 25 May 2005 08:14 GMT

Well we are dreading telling them. My husband has informed his side and they are trying to pursade us otherwise, but as his uncle (mums brother) lives out they know they will not win.

As for mine ... Well when I went to uni I apparently abandoned them, and am ungrateful etc as I married the person I had been dating since the age of 17yrs. Now we live near Birmingham cos of his work and that is too far from them as normal kids live near their parents and go shopping and have chats in coffee bars!!!! Now we have produced her first grandchild who she adores so we are not going to have an easy ride with the telling process.

We have dropped hints but I think they are falling on deaf ears!!! :roll:
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Postby Wildchildcait » Tue 4 Dec 2007 18:08 GMT

a bit late...but...

i'm traveling as a single with pet snake.

The parents reaction was...

dad: *does quick bit of math* You realise that will put you back about eight years financially, right? How far along this process are you and do you have all your paperwork?

Mum: Oh, you lucky thing! Where are you going, are you going to be near friends, and you do know they have polar bears and grizzlies there, right? I take it we'll be able to come and visit and see my little grandsnake? I thought you liked Dublin though?

Baby bro (27): Right...and when is this? I take it you will be getting somewhere with skype. I've got some friends you can talk to who are from that area, I'll get you their details. Three year wait, that means you'll have a good long chance to talk.

The pet snake merely looked at me and stuck his tongue out when he found he was immigrating...yet again (5th time for him, 7th for me)
May I say my family rocks?
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Postby tracie107 » Sun 9 Dec 2007 14:39 GMT

Well my father in law took the news well and understood our reasons for emigrating, as did all our friends. Most simply said " I take my hat of to you" or "I wish I did it years ago" or they would shake my OH hands and wish us all the best. :)

But my mother in law - well that's another story............she refuses to talk about it and if she tells her friends she will always say to me " Yes I saw (??whoever) the other day and told them about your 'thingey'! Yep that what she referres our new life to a 'thingey', or the other one is 'adventure'.

I told her we were putting the house on the market after christmas and she just completely ignored me and started playing with my 3yr old.

What more can we do - perhaps she will realise when it's too late :(
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