As a marketing ploy, Madame Tussauds have some of their figures strategically placed in Bangkok’s biggest and best shopping malls. Previously I’d only seen Liverpool FC figures, which didn’t interest me at all. They were big crowd-pullers, though. Liverpool are hugely popular in Thailand! As are Manchester United. The Thais like the colour red – it’s a lucky colour.

Anyway, one day we went into the Siam Paragon mall and there was Jackie Chan. Now you’ve got my attention! I’m a huge fan of that guy. Having previously ignored the footballers and other figures of no interest to me, I absolutely couldn’t resist the offer of posing for a photo with Jackie. And it was free! I took my turn in the queue and Dave got some photos of me with the star. Great fun!

I didn’t think that much about it at the time, but they had hooked me! I felt as though I had actually met him and was on a bit of a high afterwards. This is the real attraction of Madame Tussauds. And because you know they’re not real you don’t feel overwhelmed or tongue-tied by being in the presence of such super-heroes.

Thus the seed was sown. We must visit Madame Tussauds. It took us a few months before we were travelling through Bangkok again, but this was something we just had to do.

It’s rather expensive at THB 800 (about £16) for an adult ticket and most people take around an hour and a half to enjoy their experience. It would be an expensive outing for a family group. Children’s tickets cost THB 650 (about £13). Included in the ticket price is a guide book which provides some very interesting information about Madame Tussauds, its history, and facts about how the wax figures are made. You also get a voucher for a free souvenir photo. (More about that later.)

At first it’s a bit disconcerting because there are all these famous people standing around and some of them look so real you expect them to move. Sometimes it even seems as though they are watching you. Creepy! I declined the opportunity to visit Hannibal Lecter behind bars as I was too scared that it might be a trick and he’d shout, “Boo!” and jump on me.

We went at a fairly quiet time – around 6pm on a weekday evening. This was good because we didn’t have to battle with crowds to have our turn at mingling with the celebs. It was also good because we were able to take many photos without being disturbed by other visitors, or indeed getting in other people’s way.

The exhibition is divided into different rooms. First there is the Royal room. As you’d expect, out of respect for the highly revered Thai Royal Family, these figures are roped off out of public reach. Look but don’t touch! But you can take photos and there’s lots of interesting information about the Chakri Dynasty too.

Then you move on to a much more touchy-feely experience. The History room is next. Here you can “meet” people like Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, several Asian politicians whom I’d never heard of, Princess Diana (eh?) and other notable historical figures. By the way, Princess Diana was a giant compared to me. Yes, I know that wax shrinks so they make the models 2% larger than life, but even so, I felt like a small child when standing next to her.

Then you move on to the Leaders room. Here you can meet global leaders, sit in Obama’s chair at the “resolute desk” in the Oval Office and use his telephone. This is quite fun so I won’t tell you what happens and spoil the surprise for you. You can also don an ermine robe and a crown and sit on a throne while Queen Elizabeth II stands by serenely ignoring you. I gave Chairman Mao a brief greeting and moved on. Again there were several Asian leaders that I hadn’t heard of before.

Author: Kay McMahon

Kay has been an expat for over 20 years. She set up the British Expat website more than 10 years ago, whilst living in London and missing the expat life. These days she spends much of her time lugging computers and cameras around the world. (Dave gets to deal with all the really heavy stuff.)

Then you move into the Sports room. Feel free to don a Liverpool shirt and pose with a couple of team members (I’ve no idea who they were and couldn’t be bothered to read the info). See Becks doing a sit-up on a bench. And you can play a fun computerised beat-the-goalie thing where you kick a virtual ball and see if you can score a penalty. Dave was a bit peed off because the computer goalie thing kept saving his shots and on my first go, despite having tripped, missed my footing, and accidentally hit the ball before I’d meant to I SCORED!

You can also have a putt under the watchful eye of Tiger Woods but Dave complained that there wasn’t a putter available. (Apparently there was only a 3-wood and a 5-iron.) There’s just no pleasing some people. Golf has as much interest for me as an afternoon in Halfords so I gave that a miss anyway. Meanwhile Dave discovered some computerised interactive thingy where you could fight with a guy who looked a bit like Shrek. Dave knocked him out fairly quickly so he was pleased about that.

Then we went into the Music room. I’m not very up on modern popular culture (I like the Kinks and Queen etc) so I didn’t know who half of the people were. That didn’t stop me joining a band with some guy and Beyoncé Knowles (who she?) and taking my place to pose as the lead singer before moving back to become the band’s drummer. (There was a full drum kit there!) Pity I’ve no idea about how to play drums.

Oh yes, Michael Jackson was there too. Dave commented that he looked more human than he did in real life. And you could pose with Madonna – but you could only dress up in the costume if you’re very small. (I’m a UK size 10 and the tail-coat jacket was hellish tight on me.)

We moved on to the Film room. I showed Bruce Lee how to break concrete blocks with a single Kung Fu chop.

Author: Kay McMahon

Kay has been an expat for over 20 years. She set up the British Expat website more than 10 years ago, whilst living in London and missing the expat life. These days she spends much of her time lugging computers and cameras around the world. (Dave gets to deal with all the really heavy stuff.)

We were invited to the A-List party! Dave loves coffee so he was happy to have a coffee with George Clooney, although he complained that the coffee wasn’t real and the cup was glued to the table.

We met Nicole Kidman (who also towered above me) – she looked beautiful. And Nicolas Cage was looking very moody but he let me take a few portrait shots of him.

Brad and Angelina were there but I declined to have my photo taken beside them. By this time I’d had enough of looking very small and somewhat ugly compared to all these gods and goddesses of what’s considered to be physically attractive these days.

Oh, I forgot to mention that we also met Johnny Depp somewhere along the route. He was dressed in his pirate costume and looked most handsome. What a charming fellow he was. I had to stand inside a barrel looking smug or grumpy (under the direction of a staff photographer) while Dave made an idiot of himself on the other side of Depp. This was all for a pro photo. (More later.)

And (almost) finally, we get to the behind-the-scenes exhibit, where the process is all explained. Did you know that more than 20 artists are involved in making each figure? The cost for a figure is around £150,000 and it takes about five weeks to do the hair of one. Amazing! And then they let the general public like us mess about with them.

Then there was the photo thing. We traded in our vouchers for two free photos taken of us by their staff. And then we realised why the staff had been so keen to take so many photos of us posing with the stars. You can buy these for about £4 for a small one. No thanks. To be fair to the staff, they were also willing to take photos of us with our own cameras. But I am a bit possessive about my kit and don’t like trusting it into anyone else’s hands. I’m the same with my chef’s knives.

And then before exiting you go through the gift shop. What a load of tat. Yawn.

To sum up the outing, I loved it. It was a really fun thing to do. I suppose the expense was justified by the great experience and possibly motivated by the exhibitor’s wish to keep the crowds down. I would recommend it to you if you have the budget not to mind spending such a lot for an hour or so of fun.

Author: Kay McMahon

Kay has been an expat for over 20 years. She set up the British Expat website more than 10 years ago, whilst living in London and missing the expat life. These days she spends much of her time lugging computers and cameras around the world. (Dave gets to deal with all the really heavy stuff.)

On our latest visit to Bangkok, for a change we booked ourselves in at a serviced apartment building in our usual haunt of Soi 11 on Sukhumvit Road. Kay was doubtful about being able to manage the stairs at our favourite home from home, Domino. Besides, we’d been impressed by our stay at Fraser Place in Kuala Lumpur and thought a serviced apartment rather than a hotel room might be a bit of a treat.

We booked a deluxe suite, smoking room, which was located in Tower II. (There are three towers; Towers I and II are on the east side of the street, Tower III on the west.) The size of accommodation was as we expected and plenty big enough for the two of us for a three-day stay. But the standard of furniture and furnishings was hit-and-miss, to say the least. We’d heard that Tower II had been renovated; the evidence from our room suggested they’d missed a bit.

The bedroom was pretty nice, with a comfortable bed – even if it was rather smaller than the king-size bed the website mentions – and plenty of cupboard and wardrobe space. A wall-mounted flat screen television was a nice touch.

The living room was OK. The telly was a fair bit bigger than the one in the bedroom. But the furniture was wood finished with black gloss, which looked rather heavy and made the room a bit depressing. There were not many power points available, so we were forced to unplug the standard lamp and table lamp to plug in our computers. Kay managed fine with her WiFi connection; Dave got an excellent signal but only patchy data transfer whenever Kay was online.

The kitchen, too, was OK at best. The fridge-freezer was large, but the fridge compartment didn’t work properly. At first we assumed it was because the power hadn’t been on; then we thought that maybe we hadn’t turned the temperature down enough. But by the second morning it was clear that it just wasn’t up to the task, and at that stage it wasn’t worth the hassle of getting housekeeping to fix it or bring a replacement. Even though it was unseasonably cold in Bangkok, our beers never made it below tepid.

We did at least manage to make ourselves tea in the mornings, once we’d figured out how to operate the water heater (the typical East Asian mini-urn with an electric pump to dispense the water). There was no hot water in the sink, but we managed to do the washing-up by heating water in a saucepan on the two-plate electric hob. Just as well we had that option; the tableware wasn’t as clean as it might have been.

The bathroom was awful. The toilet had a big crack which had been inexpertly mended and the bath was old and a bit grotty looking. Plus the shower was located inside the bath and had a three-panel screen rather than a curtain. The first panel of the screen, at the tap end, was fixed rather than sliding, which made it nigh on impossible to reach the taps to run a bath without clambering into the bath to do it.

Service was patchy. Checking in and out seemed to take a lot longer than they do at most places of a similar standard; and on our final departure the doorman virtually ignored us until Kay had to start struggling with the door with a bag in one hand and a walking-stick in the other. But towels and bottled water arrived promptly when we asked for them; the porters dealt with our luggage efficiently on arrival and departure; and we got a late check-out with no fuss.

We braved breakfast on the second day. It was pretty mediocre, offering a wide range of cuisines (Chinese, Indian, Thai, Western, halal) without really giving much choice in any of them. Bizarrely, one of the dishes available was shepherd’s pie.

Overall rating: 2 out of 5
The location is very convenient but we doubt if we would stay here again unless we could be sure of a better bathroom at the very least.

Kay and Dave booked their stay at the Grand President through Agoda – great value hotel bookings worldwide

As well as the express service direct between Suvarnabhumi and the City Air Terminal at Makkasan (which links direct to the mass transit network via the Phetchaburi metro station), passengers will also be able to make use of a commuter service with eight stops in the city. The express route is expected to take 15 minutes to make the 28 km (17 mile) journey, at speeds of up to 160 km/h (99 mph); the commuter service is likely to take half an hour.

A friend of ours who lives in Thailand and has travelled on the commuter service described it as “smooth and fast” and added that the new link would really put a crimp in the taxi hawkers’ business, especially for those travelling with hand luggage to or from points near to the BTS or MRT network. Typically taxis charge 250 baht for the journey door-to-door; the express service will cost 150 baht, the commuter service between 15 and 45 baht depending on length of journey.

The service is expected to become fully operational in August 2010.

Author: Dave McMahon

Dave left school at the age of 30 with the odd O-level (like Ancient Icelandic) and a doctorate in something so obscure even he can't remember what it's about. He then joined the FCO. Dave has travelled to most European countries (including several that don't exist any more, though he denies responsibility), as well as Bangladesh, Barbados, Thailand, St Vincent, UAE, Laos, and many more. Having managed to escape from London in 2001, Dave's now resorted to taking unpaid leave to stave off the evil day of his return.