Homesickness

[CanAd]

Hi,

I decided to move to Canada at the end of March on a years working visa. Ever since the flight was booked I realised just how big a decision this was.

I have been out here for 4 months now and have met some nice people but have not had a job until recently. I thought having a job would help me get more settled and meet new people. I get the feeling this won't happen at this job.

I am extremely homesick and miss the UK a lot. I am worried that if I go home then I will just realise why I came here in the first place.

Has anyone got any advice please?

Many thanks!

[Graeme]

Homesickness sucks! You can rationalise why you moved and give yourself all the big reasons as to why it was a good move for you but when your heart says it's no good then the cognitive dissonance (I like that phrase) created makes you feel uneasy, unsettled and just plain lonely. I don't have the best advice I'd just encourage you to get out and join a club, get a hobby, join an exercise group, go to a hockey/CFL/Baseball game with someone. It seemed to me that homesickness is like having a close family member die, it hurts, it really sucks, it doesn't really ever go away but in time you learn to deal with it, to handle it and to carry on living your life. You tend to become attached to what you remember the UK to be, and that it doesn't change in your absence, but it does change and you are affixed to the memory of what was (usually all the good bits and the bad bits are conveniently forgotten) but what isn't now, if you follow me. Watch the BBC news and see what I mean, it sure isn't the UK that I left nowadays.
If it becomes too much then you have to go back, but make sure if you go back you have no regrets, that you've given Canada that good old British style try and that you are leaving the field of battle beaten but unbowed.
Good luck

[CanAd]

Thanks Graeme,

Since starting to work I just feel that this isn't for me. I miss lots of things about home, especially family and friends. Just not being able to talk to them easily is hard.

I do really like Vancouver and do wish that I was born here but it is just missing that home feeling. If my friends and family were here and bits and bobs of home were here then it would be perfect haha.

I have not been at my job long at all. It is a great job in a great company although it is not the exact job I want it is in the correct industry. I feel I should give the job a go and see how things may change.

My lease at my place ends at the end of this month which just makes it feel like it is the opportunity to go back. I feel I have given it a great go. Maybe could of done things differently but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I keep going over it in my head. Sometimes I feel I want to stay and then other times I don't. I am not sure what to base this decision on.

[Graeme]

You could start by making a list of what it is that attracts you to Vancouver and the job, what brought you here in the first place. Make a list of all the reasons you want to go back to the UK. I don't think this should be a list of pro's and con's it's just that writing it down and trying to think about what you are feeling might give you some perspective on what you really want. Sometimes just seeing it on paper is enough to make your mind up. There may be things on the list you can change or moderate, there may be things which are so important they override many other things, but seeing them written as opposed to just imagining them can really help. It's not just a silly exercise
Of course drinking is an answer but not a very good one