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Proud to be British

submitted by: Cliff Palmer

Very proud to be a Brit because…

Only in Britain… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain… do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain… do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in Britain… do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain… do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain… do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

Only in Britain… are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last three years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British hospitals reported four broken arms last year after cracker-pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally………

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo.

PG Author: Kay McMahon

Kay has been an expat for nearly 30 years. She set up the British Expat website back in early 2000, whilst living in London and missing the expat life. These days she spends much of her time lugging computers and cameras around the world. (Dave gets to deal with all the really heavy stuff.)

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