Why did the chicken cross the road?

By Kay McMahon, 22 April 2003

George W Bush

We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Colin Powell

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Hans Blix

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador to the UN)

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken.

Saddam Hussein

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Dr Seuss

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told.

Ernest Hemingway

To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King Jr

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa

In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Barbara Walters

Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

John Lennon

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Ronald Reagan

What chicken?

Captain Kirk

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Sigmund Freud

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Albert Einstein

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Colonel Sanders

I missed one?