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British Expat Newsletter:
4 May 2005

Hello, and welcome to those who have joined up since our last newsletter.

In this issue

  • This week: Life begins at 40
  • Virtual Snacks
  • Bizarre Searches
  • Joke and quotation

This week

[Dave celebrates (if that’s the right word) his fortieth birthday today, so he decided he’d like to write this week’s newsletter. Here he is…]

Forty years old, eh? Who’d have thought it, etc. I don’t suppose it’ll come as any surprise to anyone that I don’t actually feel any older – I think we probably all leave that phase behind when we’re in our teens, don’t we? But it’s something of a watershed.

If someone had told me ten years ago that I’d spend my fortieth birthday living in a glorified beach hut and living off the proceeds of Internet projects, I’d have thought they were mad. I was on my first overseas posting with the Foreign Office and had a career with them to look forward to. As far as I was concerned I was set to carry on in the FCO until retirement. Now, I’m not so sure.

Kay’s ambition was always that she’d retire before she was forty, and she actually did it – although given how much work she puts into BE, her studies and all her other projects, I don’t think her “retirement” actually lasted very long! But when she suggested that I take unpaid leave for a couple of years to test the waters, it was a bit of a daunting prospect. After all, where’s the money going to come from? What happens if it all goes wrong?

Well, there’s only one way to find out. The last thing I want to do is end up in twenty years’ time wondering what might have been. And forty seems as good an age as any to strike out in a new direction.

Yep – life begins at forty!

Dave
If you’d like to read another perspective on getting older, why not have a look at Phil McCollum’s article?
Phil’s Philosophy – Getting Older

Virtual Snacks

If you’re fed up with the media’s obsession with “yoof kulcha”, why not try The Oldie’s website? Great slogan – “Buy it before you snuff it”!
http://www.theoldie.co.uk/

“i used to believe…”, a site all about the daft stuff we believed when we were little, has a couple of amusing bits too. Did you know that if you play with your belly button your bottom will fall off? A bit US-biased, but still worth a look.
http://iusedtobelieve.com/

Bizarre Searches

Some strange search terms which have led people to visit British Expat recently:

  • dream dictionary expat
  • in ancient history who was one of the few europeans to visit china in the 1500s
  • how to obtain new zealand
  • moses was an austere man
  • veggy sex
  • norman st john stevas contact
  • dave wreck
  • bigjugs
  • i want to join a football club in uk free invitation letter
  • angles in sex
  • pitchers of guys having sex with their dog
  • advice for tourists shin bse

Till next time…
Happy surfing!

Kay
Editor
British Expat Magazine

Quotation

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Joke

Two jokes this week as a special treat for Dave’s birthday!

First joke

The couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.”

Well, you can imagine her disappointment.

The next year, her birthday rolls around again and he doesn’t get her anything.

She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present?”

He says, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

Second joke

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday.

“I’d really love to be ten again,” she replied wistfully.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, got up, made her a nice big bowl of Frosties and then took her off to their local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald’s where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a monster thick chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster, complete with a hot-dog, popcorn, a big fizzy drink, and a huge bag of her favourite sweets.

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well, darling, what was it like being ten again?”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “You silly twit,” she replied, “I meant my dress size!”

And the moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s still going to get it wrong.

PG Author: Dave

Dave was bitten by the expat bug at the age of 13 when he went to live in Germany. Since leaving school at the age of 30 (with a doctorate in something so obscure even he can't remember what it's about) he's also lived in Bangladesh, India and Thailand, and travelled to most European countries (including several that don't exist any more, though he denies responsibility), as well as Barbados, South Korea, St Vincent, UAE, Laos, and many more.

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