For all the folks who read Dave Hook’s poem
And think that it’s right on the money
I’ve got a few words, if you know where I’m going
And I can’t help thinking, “How funny”.
He thinks that Neil Armstrong is just a big fake
And his walk on the moon wasn’t true
His step for mankind and the claim that he staked
Was faked to fool me and you.
Well if Dave Hook is right, it was all a big sting
And they faked that moon walk back in time
Then maybe some other historical things
Were brilliantly faked down the line.
Maybe Roger Bannister took more than four minutes
‘Cause the time keeper’s watch was too slow
And Elvis is alive and living in Graceland
And Jack the Ripper’s still living in Bow.
We didn’t beat the Germans in the ’66 Cup
And Pele just didn’t like soccer
Baryshnikov and Nureyev just couldn’t dance
And Charles is Prince of the rockers.
And OJ was practising his swing at the time
While Nichole was killed by a stranger
Donald Trump is only worth nickels and dimes
And Tonto shot the Lone Ranger.
The Weapons Inspectors found WMAs
Michael Jackson is not really black
And it isn’t a nose job, not no how, no way –
Does anyone here believe that?
They say Mr Ali was not a good fighter
Ol’ Blue Eyes not much of a singer
Eat Yorkshire Pudding, it’ll make you much lighter
And dumplings will make you much slimmer.
In closing, I hope that you won’t take offence
And let me come back to your site
Only time will tell if these things are all true
Or Dave’s theory is wrong or it’s right.
And if it’s all true and you make me eat crow
I’ll apologise now for my doubts
But don’t hold your breath, there’s a long way to go
So I’m not drinking tea from his spout.