News, humour and information for Brits worldwide!

Posts tagged ‘humour’

Lesson Six: Get Into The Bit

“The message left on my answerphone had intrigued me: two policewomen whose main interest in foreign language learning was to sing karaoke. How do you prepare a lesson with these two? No use planning a quick dash through the Present Perfect. If anything, it was going to have to be Sing Something Present Simple.” Graeme coaches El Duo Dinámico…

Tourist advice

This article appeared recently in an American magazine under the headline “Advice For Tourists”. By all accounts it was taken seriously by a lot of people….

How to shower

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, showers are from Triton… An examination of the very different bathroom routines of men and women!

Lesson Five: Strong arms and the law

“There is no point in resenting the fact that your fingerprints are to be forever-and-ever-olé on some petty functionary’s computer, nor worth protesting that ‘back home we don’t do that kind of thing’. You have to go with a submissive ‘here-unto-you-I-present-my-fingers-do-with them-what-you-will’ attitude.” Dr Graeme Porte applies for his Spanish ID card.

Lesson Four: Tiptoe Through The Tutus

“I stood up, recognised a 3/4 rhythm, and tried to spot myself in the mirror. Not difficult. I was the only one moving sideways instead of forwards, stomping two seconds late, holding half a castanet wrapped round my thumb the other round the wrist, and wearing corduroy trousers.” Graeme attends a class himself – a dancing class.