Here you’ll find a collection of musings about life in general
“The following week when apparently I had consumed two tons (sic) of tuna, I just let it go. No doubt there would be a logical explanation. However, when I saw that I had paid 5 dinar for one wenker (again sic), I had to question it.” Phil finds that it’s not always easy to understand what your domestic staff are up to.
“This is about death and sex really… When I heard this week that someone had been astrally harvested, my first reaction was to laugh. Consider others’ feelings, by all means, but isn’t that one just a little OTT?” Phil wonders why supposed adults are so scared of certain words – and why the word “adult” itself has been misappropriated.
“Don’t you find that, as expats, you cease to be part of the same race as British non-expats? You’ll say something in all innocence, like: ‘When I was going through the Khyber Pass…’ or: ‘When two machine guns opened fire on our jeep on the Iraqi border…’ and non-expats will look at you as if you’d just said ‘The last time I was abducted by aliens…'” Phil finds that some of the people she’s left behind no longer understand her.
“You just can’t imagine how busy this week has been for me. First it was Queen Victoria trying to break the door down because she wanted access to the website…” Phil struggles with cardboard eagles, loses her school blazer and careers through downhill canals. Eh? Read on…
“Brits have a reputation for being pet lovers and that’s great. I quite like dogs, when they’re not fierce-looking brutes who jump on me and clart my clothes with muddy paw-marks. And I don’t mind cats when they’re in someone else’s house and being all nice, fluffy, and purry. But what drives me mental is all the pooh involved.” Phil McCollum sounds off about a pet hate.
“Sometimes people start projects and you can tell from the start that they’re never going to succeed. Sometimes they surprise you – and then again, sometimes not.” Phil takes a break from her daily routine of doing the accounts and being shot at to look at a home-made aircraft…