Changing Faces
Fed up with the same old face staring back at you from the mirror each morning? Feel your image is letting you down in that important business interview? Try the BE Virtual Makeover!
It’s a sin
Travel brings with it the risk of falling foul of the local laws, if you’re not familiar with them. Here are just a few of the weirder laws from around the world… or so we’re told.
Lesson Three: Chicken chests and cheeps
“I groaned inwardly. So, no money again, then. I came to call them my ‘Russian classes’ – goods in exchange for knowledge, consommés for consonants in the present case. Expanding my stomach rather than my wallet.” Dr Graeme Porte’s latest students – restaurateurs – offer payment in kind rather than cash!
Lesson Two: Never forget Lesson Number One
“While still regaining his breath, Mr Jesús María d’Avila opened hostilities: ‘Plis, …Ah must to eensist…joo coll me just Jesus.’ ‘Just Jesus?’ ‘No… Ah em… only Jesus, noothink more. Not Mary, plis.’ He was at least humility – if not divinity – personified…” Dr Graeme Porte extends his student list!
How to please your man in bed
“In my parents’ day the solution to this often intractable problem was easy; if your man was in bed, you brought him a cup of tea. Result, one very pleased man.” Tim Sharp discusses the often thorny issue of sex and communication.
Lesson Number One
‘”Joo mus hilp me,” Manolo threatened. “Ah haf ingleesh ixam for entering Deeplomatic sirvis in Joon. Ah mus pars.” His accent was as engaging as the content bewildering.’ Dr Graeme Porte takes on his first English language student—and opens the door to a world of confusion…