submitted by Mr Tim
The form used for Royal Navy and Royal Marines officer fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts from them:
# His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
# I would not breed from this Officer.
# This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.
# When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
# He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
# He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
# Technically sound, but socially impossible.
# This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
# This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
# When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
# This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
# Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
# She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
# He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
# This Officer should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.
# In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
# The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
# Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
# This man is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot. [The Ed – don’t we all know someone who fits that description?!!!]